This week I talk about love, and specifically how I’m re-storying it for myself.
Unconditional love has long been the gold standard. And maybe it is the gold standard, but also maybe there’s something else, something just as foundational and just as deep, recalcitrant love.
Hmmm, recalcitrant? Some people might think that this sounds too oppositional, or problematic, or pain in the ass.
That’s right.
There are multiple definitions of recalcitrant, this is the most common:
Recalcitrant: Adjective: Marked by a stubborn unwillingness to obey authority.
The authority I was raised by, in this culture, declared with specificity how I am allowed, and not allowed, as a man, to love. How deeply I can love, how intimately I can love, what reservations I must have, what emotions I must hold back, etc.
I abandoned the fuck out of that edict and surrendered to the universe. I surrendered to unconditional love, to deep and gritty love, and abiding love, to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders love.
My love is most splendiferously (credit Dr. Teeth) marked by a stubborn unwillingness to obey authority: Recalcitrant Love.
This week I’m including a poem instead of a story. I wrote this a few days ago spontaneously and have only made minor edits. I really appreciate how poetry allows some ethereal passion to just flow through me, it feels like as close as I can get to making music, and I’ll take it.
With Gratitude.
~sky
FYI: I’m rebranding this series to “The Talks” and will update next week so make sure to check your inbox. Psychedelic Playlist will live on in it’s own capacity, but likely on a Quarterly basis.
Recalcitrant Love: A Poem
You can’t stop me, don’t even try
This Love isn’t quid pro quo
This Love isn’t scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
This Love isn’t a two way street
This.
Love.
is.
Beastly.
It is Powerful
It is Magic
It is
Unrelenting
Unashamed
Unafraid
It is Self Aware
And on top of that it is Full of Itself.
This Love is crashing hands into a sea of broken glass
without a second thought or a wince
to grab your hands.
This Love is Dad Love.
This is:
Doesn’t hold onto a grudge Love
Doesn’t hold onto pain Love
Doesn’t hold onto bitterness, or disappointment, or otherness Love
This Love is Recalcitrant.
This is Fierce Love
This is Unyielding Love
This is:
I don’t need your fucking permission or approval to love like this Love.
This is Strength Love.
Real Love.
Eternal Love.
This is:
The kind of Love that I didn’t receive growing up Love.
So when I woke up in my 20’s I asked the Universe to give it to me.
And the Universe said yes, yes, yes, fuck yes.
I think this is my favorite poem yet. Thank you.
I wasn’t sure when I saw the title but now I’m a believer 💗